Untethered (Shifter Night Book 1) Page 5

  “I am happy. I have a great job and awesome friends.” She hugged Edith. “I have a family who loves me. I’m happy.” She said it with conviction she didn’t completely feel. Although she was happy in most aspects of her life, she still felt that something was missing.

  “Not like you were. Not like when …”

  Ana squeezed Edith’s hand. “I’ll be okay. I’m here, aren’t I? I’m getting better. It’s taking way longer than I would have hoped, but I’ll get there.” There was a nagging voice inside her that told her she was never going to get better. Not before she was old and gray at any rate. Ana ignored it.

  “Yeah, you will. You know I’m always here for you, right?”

  “I know.” They hugged again.

  The guy from the bar came up, holding several drinks in is big hands. He handed Winston the drinks and winked at both her and Edith.

  “I’m Zack.” He shook Edith’s hand and then took hers. “I’m very pleased to meet you.”

  Ana nodded, the guy didn’t let go of her hand. He lifted it to his mouth and kissed her palm. It was way too intimate. “Can I get you a drink?” he asked, his eyes on hers.

  “Um … you already did.” Ana tried to take her hand back but the shifter held on tight.

  Her heart started to beat a little quicker. There was a deep growl and the shifter let go of her in an instant. Zack held up both hands, he said something to Winston who was frowning deeply. The situation felt tense. Winston bristled, his shoulders seemed to broaden. If he put any more pressure on that shirt it was going to rip. His jaw was tight, then finally he nodded and the tension dissipated in an instant. Zack gave Winston a tap on the side of the arm. He nodded in what looked like understanding.

  “Have a good evening, ladies!” he shouted, then he winked and disappeared into the throng.

  Winston handed each of them their drinks. He leaned in to Ana. “Sorry about that. Are you okay?” His eyes were filled with concern.

  Ana leaned in. “I’m fine. Thanks for the save.”

  “Any time.” His voice was really deep. Winston had what looked like a beer in his hand. He used it to point towards the back of the bar. She looked over to where he was pointing. It was a bit quieter on that end, away from the gyrating bodies on the dance floor and the hustle and bustle of the bar area itself.

  Edith gripped her arm. “There’s Jacob,” her voice was filled with excitement. Her eyes were wide. Jacob was Edith’s hook-up from last time. She gave a squeal. “I forgot how sexy he is.”

  “Do you want to go over and say hi?”

  Edith shook her head. “No, that’s fine, I’ll hang with you guys.” She looked from Ana to Winston.

  “Really!” Ana raised her brows. “It’s okay,” she spoke directly into Edith’s ear, keeping her voice down. “He’s really sweet, I’m sure I’ll be okay.” Ana knew that Edith was dying to go over to Jacob. She was just trying to be a good friend to Ana.

  “You sure?” When Edith pulled back, she was frowning.

  “Of course, just let me know if you leave or anything.”

  Edith smiled. She nodded, her eyes bright with excitement. “Same goes for you.”

  Ana rolled her eyes. “That’s not going—”

  “Only joking.” Edith squeezed her arm and bounded off to Jacob who was just as her friend had described him. Tall, dark hair, tanned skin. Who was she kidding? They were all gorgeous. Every last one of them.

  She turned back towards Winston, who was fending off another woman. This one had shoulder-length brown hair. She looked a little older. Winston grinned when they locked eyes. He became serious though as he turned his attention back to the woman, giving another shake of the head. This one was a bit more persistent. She even gripped him by the bicep and stood really close. Some people didn’t respect personal space. She kept talking, moving closer and closer. Her mouth only millimeters away from Winston’s ear. Her hand now stroked his arm. Winston looked tense. He didn’t seem to be enjoying the attention. He shook his head.

  Ana sighed. He’d rescued her so she felt it was only right to return the favor. “Hey, babe!” She put her arm around his waist, breaking the contact the other woman had. Wow, he sure was big. Winston towered over her. The music and general bar noise wasn’t as bad over here, so the lady must have heard Ana.

  “Hey …” He sounded shocked, but quickly pulled himself together. “Sweetheart,” he added. Winston gave her a kiss on the top of her head. He put a hand on her back. The middle of her back, barely touching her. Such a sweetie.

  Ana was thrilled to find that she wasn’t affected. Her heart rate stayed normal. Her breathing as well. That feeling of her throat closing and the room becoming smaller didn’t happen. They were just pretending after all, so it stood to reason that she wouldn’t be affected. It felt good to have contact with another human being. Someone she didn’t know. A guy. A really cute guy. Not that she was interested or anything.

  The lady muttered something that sounded far too much like ‘lucky bitch’ and walked off.

  Ana had to laugh. Winston released her. He laughed too. “Thanks.”

  “You saved me earlier so I thought I’d return the favor.”

  He narrowed his eyes into hers. “I told you I would take care of you. Seems we can help each other.” He held out his beer. “To making new friends and having good clean fun!”

  “To friends.” She touched bottle necks with him and they both drank.

  “So, how have you been?” he asked, taking another drink of his beer.

  “Good.” She shrugged. “Same old, really.”

  “All good on that … other front? Are you doing okay right now?” He looked at her intently.

  She looked away before looking back at him. “I’m fine.”

  “You’ll tell me if that changes right?”

  “I don’t want you to treat me like there’s something wrong with me. I just want to have a good evening.”

  He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry! I felt the need to check. Also, despite relaxing and having fun, you came here because I asked you to, so I feel a bit responsible.”

  “Well don’t! I’ve been dealing with this for years.” She paused. “I haven’t gone out on any blind dates or frequented any establishments such as this so, no, no new panic attacks. My therapist agrees with you, by the way. She says I’m making progress.”

  “See. What did I tell you?”

  “At this rate, I’ll be forty-three by the time I can actually go on a real date with someone and forty-eight by the time I get to have sex again. Nineteen years is not so long to wait.”

  Winston shook his head. “I doubt it. You’re being too hard on yourself. How was work?” She noticed how he changed the subject.

  “Great! It’s been a weird week though.” She took a sip of her drink.

  “How so?” Winston frowned, waiting for her to continue. He looked sincerely interested so she continued.

  “We have this patient. He’s your average run-of-the-mill middle-aged guy who recently caught his wife cheating. He ran after the man who was in bed with her. Chased him into the backyard and over the gate ‒ which was locked, so they had to climb over it. The gate was pretty high, so when he landed on the other side, he broke both his legs.”

  “No!”

  “Yes!” she said.

  “Talk about bad luck.” Winston was smiling.

  “I know, poor guy. His wife served him divorce papers yesterday. Her husband is in the hospital with badly broken legs and she serves him. Some people are cruel.”

  Winston clenched his jaw. “I don’t understand you humans sometimes.” He shook his head. “We shifters mate for life. We would never even think to cheat. Once we fixate on a person, we stop noticing anyone else in that way.”

  “Hey, don’t put us all in the same category.” His way of thinking irritated her. “I would never—”

  “Damn … sorry! I didn’t mean you. I swear! It’s just, it happens a lot. That lady
you saved me from just now …” He raised his brows.

  “Yeah?” she said when he didn’t elaborate.

  “Well, I could scent that she is mated, yet she is here trying to hook up with one of us. It’s so wrong. I was about to tell her where to get off when you came and saved my ass.”

  “Oh, I see,” she huffed out a breath. “That’s bad. Some people are terrible. So shifters don’t cheat?”

  He shook his head. “Nope.”

  “Not ever?”

  “It’s not in our DNA. Once we are with someone, it’s for life.”

  “So that’s it for you then? Until you meet Miss Right, that is? Only one more woman for you … ever.”

  Winston gave a shy smile. “Yup, that’s the plan.”

  “I think it’s commendable.”

  He looked over her shoulder. Ana turned just as Edith came up to them. “I’m going to the bar with some of the guys!” she yelled. “We’re getting more shots. Do you want a couple?” She raised her brows, looking from Ana to Winston and back again.

  Ana shook her head. “We’re good … unless?” She glanced at Winston, who shook his head.

  “Nope, we’re good.”

  “Okay. See you later,” Edith yelled as she turned and started walking towards the bar.

  “Okay!” Ana yelled after her. She watched her friend join a group of people already headed for the bar. They were a mix of both men and women.

  She glanced over at Winston. He was such an attractive guy. Could be standing with any of the women in there. “So, why did you come tonight? Don’t tell me it was only to keep my sorry ass company?”

  His forehead creased. “You should stop putting yourself down like that, Ana. I happened to enjoy your company the other night. I had hoped to see you again.” He paused, taking a sip of his beer. “I also like coming to Sweetwater. I enjoy unwinding and having a few beers.” He held up the bottle in his hand. “Just because I don’t want to fall into bed with the first pretty female I see doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend time with one and quite frankly, most females in Sweetwater just want one thing from us shifters and it isn’t conversation. I guess I know I’m safe with you.” He grinned.

  Ana had to laugh. “Okay then.” She felt her cheeks heat. “You are definitely safe with me.” She gave another chuckle. “I apologize. I do keep putting myself down, you’re right, it’s something I should stop. It’s just, I’ve had this problem for a long time now, just over four years and it’s just so hard …” She scrunched up her nose. “There I go again with the complaining.”

  Winston touched the side of her arm. “You’re still being hard on yourself.”

  “I wish I could control it but I can’t. When that feeling starts up, it takes over. Just when I think I might have a handle, it hits me upside the head.”

  “Do you know the cause? You say the episodes started four years ago. That’s pretty specific on the timing. There must be a reason why you get these attacks? You didn’t always have this problem.”

  9

  For a few seconds, it seemed like she was going to shut down but then she sucked in a deep breath and licked her lips. She looked him in the eyes and began to speak. “Um … it all started out fine. An evening out. I didn’t even want to go. I can’t tell you how many times I wished we hadn’t …” She looked somewhere over his shoulder. “We were walking to the car after a dinner-date. It was a half a block on a well-lit street. It wasn’t all that late yet and it’s not like Sweetwater is a dangerous place to live. It’s a low crime area. It had only just turned nine. One minute we were walking and the next we had a gun in our faces. The guy was alone. He wore a ski-mask. I could see the fear in his eyes. His hands were shaking. He demanded we hand over our possessions. My rings, our watches, wallets. Instead of complying John retaliated.” He could see her disappear into her own mind. Her eyes clouded in thought and those thoughts didn’t appear to be pleasant.

  “The guy insisted. The shaking got worse. I screamed to John to do as he said but he shook his head and told the guy to piss off. Next thing the weapon went off, his face exploded in a spray of blood.” She wiped away a tear. Her whole face had a look of horror. “I still hear the sound of the shot, still see the mangled mess that was left of John’s head.” She wiped away a couple more tears. “Our attacker went nuts. He kept on saying ‘Oh god! Oh god!’ Over and over. He dropped the gun and made a run for it. Turned out he was a petty thief who had done time before, his prints were on the gun. The guy, James Simons, said that it was an accident. He didn’t mean to shoot. He accidentally squeezed the trigger and …” She shrugged. “It being an accident won’t bring John back though.” She dug around in her bag and pulled out a wad of tissues.

  Fuck! No wonder she suffered from panic attacks. He didn’t want to push. Winston kept quiet, waiting to see what else she was willing to divulge.

  Ana blew her nose softly. “It affected me. For months I couldn’t even leave my house. It was two years of random panic attacks. I’d get them if someone jogged past me or if someone walked up to me unannounced. I’d get them at home, if someone knocked on my door. The nightmares were almost worse. I couldn’t sleep. I still struggle with them. I guess I might battle with trust. I don’t know. Realistically, the chances of being attacked again in this way are small to none, especially here in Sweetwater. At least the really bad days are over. I couldn’t work for over a year.”

  “You are a strong female.”

  She shook her head. “Why can’t I get on with my life then? Why does the prospect of dating someone affect me so badly?”

  “You went through a terrible ordeal. It’s to be expected. It’s also not your fault. You’re stronger than you think.”

  “You’re sweet to say so.”

  Winston had to ask. “Who was the male you were with, the one who was killed that night? I think you said his name was John.”

  She shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. It didn’t work, he noticed the tension in her shoulders, the tightness of her jaw. “Someone I was … with at the time.” He got the feeling the male had meant something to her but again, he didn’t want to push.

  “So you associate dating with being attacked.”

  She looked down at her clasped hands. “I guess. I don’t think it’s as simple as that though, or I would have figured this out by now.”

  Winston couldn’t help but feel that there was something she wasn’t telling him. She pulled at a cuticle on one of her nails. Winston gripped her hand, using his other hand, he tilted her chin up so that she faced him. “You are brave. You went through a terrible ordeal. One most people never have to go through. You have made enormous progress. You said you couldn’t work and didn’t want to leave your home in the beginning and now, here you are.”

  She gave a shy smile. “I guess you’re right. Sometimes you move forwards so slowly that it doesn’t even feel like you’ve moved at all. You have to glance back to notice the change.”

  “Exactly right.” He paused. “You mentioned your therapist a few times, so you are still working on it?”

  Ana nodded. “Doctor Brenner encouraged me to come tonight despite how things turned out the last time … not that I’m here for the same reason,” she quickly added.

  “You mentioned me to your therapist?” He smiled.

  Her cheeks turned distinctly red and she looked away.

  “No need to be embarrassed about it,” he quickly added, not liking that she felt uncomfortable about it.

  She nodded. “I did tell her about our meeting. She insisted I start having some fun.”

  “I think I like this female.” He grinned.

  “She told me to come tonight, said I needed to work on desensitizing myself around the whole dating thing.”

  He felt himself frown. “Desensitizing yourself?”

  “It’s nothing.” She waved a hand. “She wants me to role-play, to fake date.” Ana laughed, sounding embarrassed. “It’s apparently an honest to god therapy where you sl
owly expose yourself to higher levels of the thing you’re most afraid of but I’m not so sure about it. I don’t even know how it would work.” She widened her eyes.

  “Interesting.” He reached out and clasped her hand, almost expecting her to flinch. Although Ana didn’t take his hand back, she also didn’t pull away. “Thank you for trusting me with your story, but I think it’s time to have a bit of fun ‒ like your doctor ordered. Do you want to dance?” An upbeat tune blared from the jukebox.

  Ana pursed her lips for a second and then she gave a nod. “Why not?” She rolled her eyes. “Doctor Brenner would insist if she was here.”

  Winston squeezed her hand and led her to the dance floor. They danced their asses off for the next forty-five minutes. Ana could shake those hips. Her cheeks became flushed and her eyes sparkled. She squealed every time a new song came on, declaring that it was her favorite. It was great seeing her let loose a little. Ana was as sexy as hell. He could see that she wasn’t wearing a bra, her breasts weren’t very big so she could get away with it. Winston tried not to stare but fuck, she was a stunner. Not that he was interested in her in that way, but he’d have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to notice that her nipples were very much out there and how her breasts bounced as she danced. Small bounces but fucking bounces none-the-less. He was a prick but he couldn’t help it.

  A slow song came on. The beat heavy, yet measured and rhythmical. Ana looked up at him from under her lashes, she gave the tiniest of half-smiles. He could see a look of regret register on her face for a moment. Then she turned to leave the dance floor.

  “Hey.” Winston grabbed her hand and turned her back. “Are you going to leave me hanging?” She was incredibly sweet and sensitive. It seemed so unfair that she was plagued with these attacks. That a moment in her life had brought about such devastating consequences.

  Ana narrowed her eyes. “I’m not sure if …”

  Winston kept ahold of her hand. “If you start to feel uncomfortable, in any way, tell me and we can stop.” He squeezed her hand. “No pressure! None whatsoever. We’re friends remember? Also, your doctor said that a bit of role-playing would help you, so what do you say we give it a try?”